Life Lately...

Why we're moving and more over, why we got a dog...

Big Decisions.

If you follow me on instagram, you’ll know there’s been some changes brewing…

Namely, that we have made the decision to move, and to leave our beautiful Georgian home in Shropshire and downsize. When I shared this news on my stories, there was, understandably some confusion. I’d only recently been talking about our dream to extend (never mind having the bloody plans approved) and yet here I was; a few weeks later, announcing a decision that was so oppositional, it felt almost unreal.

Moving is a MAJOR decision. So why, after what feels like a lifetime (and then some) of renovating, are we doing it? Are we just gluttons for punishment? Are we addicted to relocating? What is our rationale? After all, I earn the bulk of my living from our home, so moving is potentially a risk in terms of career. I’ve built a solid social media following from sharing this house, not to mention the emotional and physical labour that has gone into making it what it is and the many benefits the property has.

The Why.

On a seemingly uneventful Thursday at the beginning of August of this year; a day I had an interview for some part time work, I had a call from my husband which completely turned our lives upside down.

After a harrowing few months working for an organisation (for which he had left a comfortable, secure position) my husband, the *loveliest* most dedicated and brilliant guy, who had never had so much as bad mark against his name, and had an amassed an excellent reputation in his field, was, in short, pushed.

If you’ve ever had the displeasure of working in a toxic environment, you’ll understand how insidious it can be and how, if work is central to your identity, utterly demoralising it can be to show up, and to be permanently on edge. I can’t go into a lot of detail for various reasons but suffice to say, ethically, it was BAD. REALLY BAD.

My husband came home on that Thursday in August and he looked broken. My husband who is brilliant and lovely and amazing at what he does and whom had worked so hard was, a shadow. He had never been out of work and I, anxious, and with my mind completely on him and the situation that was unravelling completely flunked my job interview; a teaching role that was literally made for me.

We were frantic.

I spiralled.

Like so many others right now, our initial fears were financial, and for the welfare of our daughter, Harlow. Those few weeks felt overwhelming. What if he can’t get a job? What if we can’t pay our bills? What if we can’t pay the mortgage? What will we tell Harlow? Where will we live? What if the house gets repossessed? What if…what if…what if…? I had my brand work but that wouldn’t cover all of our outgoings, plus, as any freelance creative knows, it can be sporadic.

It probably reads as a dramatic response but when you’re forced into a crisis situation, you have to think quickly. The truth is, we didn’t know if things would work out and we didn’t know if we would have enough money to pay our way.

Our mortgage is with a specialist provider (I’ll talk about why in a separate post) and one of the first things we did in the days that proceeded was to call them and discuss our options. Without the choice to default, or take a mortgage ‘holiday’ (essentially a break from paying which is made up later) we were told we could half our normal payment, and make up the rest the month after. This was useful to know but only a very short term solution. With this in mind, we transferred any money we had on credit cards into our savings account (which, naively, we hadn’t any existing cash in because we’d been living in complete and utter ignorance.) We sold our car and worked out how long, with only one (infrequent wage) we could afford to remain in our current home, until my husband was working again. The answer was not very long.

I thought constantly about losing our home in those first few weeks. It being taken from us. My deposit (money I had accrued form my first property) tied up in it, and all of the hours we had invested into making it so lovely. I panicked about where we would end up. Where we would live. I imagined every situation you could think of and then some. We lost weight, barely ate or slept and lived off the adrenaline of having to make huge decisions in a very short time, my husband spending every minute looking for work whilst still doing regular parent stuff and trying to remain positive to the outside world.

We decided, that despite not knowing what may, or may not happen, to put our house on the market that week. We just couldn’t risk it. There was the worry that my husband may not have found work come January (when our savings would run out) and that the house may not sell in time either, but we decided to focus on what we could control.

My husband applied to tens and tens of jobs and, thanks to his impeccable reputation, was able to secure multiple interviews over the course of the month. He had organisations reach out to him to create roles, so well thought of is he within his sector. Offers to consult, and to go freelance. He was willing to do anything but, thankfully, by mid September had started TWO new roles which are both fantastic opportunities and allow him to work from home.

Of course, we understand how lucky, and how privileged we are to have got back into work so quickly but also, things could have gone in a very different direction. There is a well known piece of evidence which basically states that we are all three pay cheques away from homelessness, and although it was unlikely (we have family luckily who I like to think would put us up if needed) it wasn’t impossible. Things can change over night and we weren’t in a position to wait around whilst things ‘got better’. Most of us live day to day, in a sort of blissful bubble, we think we are impenetrable to crisis and that bad stuff only ever happens to others. Whilst as a individuals we’d had our fair share of crappy experiences, this was different.

What had happened had shaken us, and it drove us to re-evaluate our lives. It’s a huge cliche (and ordinarily I detest this analogy because it’s so simplistic, not to mention deeply insensitive) but I honestly think it happened for a reason/s. Truth is, we were often living quite frivolously. We had NO savings. NO real plan for our future. Dare I say, we were arrogant because we were bringing in a good wage? We had an extension planned on a house that doesn’t really need to be bigger and which would push our outgoings even further and the reality is that we had started to become trapped by material things.

We started to question the life we had been living and what we wanted going forward. We wanted peace, ultimately, and to live within our means. We wanted some financial freedom, and less stress (even if that meant a smaller property) and more of a safety net should that rainy day present again in the future (which I am sure it will but also, feel more prepared for.) We also discussed the potential of working more flexibly, having more fun with our family and being more present in our daughter’s life, weekends away with a dog in tow, and downsizing many aspects of our life, physically and metaphorically.

The Future.

And so, with all of the work we have put into the house, we have built some equity and therefore, it feels like a no-brainer to go mortgage free (or as close to as possible) and start a new life, reflecting on our experiences and the conversations we have had as a result of what happened.

You see, we never needed an extension. We don’t need a bigger home, or loads of stuff. When your foundations are shaken, and safety is potentially compromised what we need versus, we want becomes easier to establish.

Technically with Terry working again, and my freelancing picking up, we *could* stay, but our experience (although thankfully short-lived) has changed our outlook entirely. Staying would feel like taking a step backwards, despite the popularity of our home and the opportunities that have come with it, I feel as though we have to. It feels like an exciting and joyous opportunity and a huge opportunity for growth. Some huge lessons have presented and that we should absolutely take that as a sign to learn, and to make some radical changes.

I am excited to start again; albeit with a little trepidation as it will most certainly affect my work, but I am confident I can do something equally great with a new property. My goals are to practice sustainability throughout any renovations required, to up cycle what we have and to get creative with a smaller space. It’s actually thrilling.

Our come, currently up for sale.

And so, with all of the work we have put into the house, we have built some equity and therefore, it feels like a no-brainer to go mortgage free (or as close to as possible) and start a new life, reflecting on our experiences and the conversations we have had as a result of what happened.

I am proud of Terry’s resilience and fight, in fact, I have never admired him so much. He is happy, and thriving once more and working amongst people who admire him. He deserves it all.

I am proud of us as a couple and for making grown up choices (for once in our lives.) and for supporting each other though a really challenging time.

But mostly, I am proud of us for learning from it.